On strange ways to wake up in the Subcontinent

As a Brit in the Subcontinent, I've had many new things to adapt to over the course of visits for work, play and study. I've got used to dhal bhat, am unphased by squat toilets (even those which resemble something from a Danny Boyle film) and can even speak Hindi and Urdu with a funny British accent. I take my tea with at least three sugars, get cravings for masala dosas and wai-wai noodles when I'm at home in London and have become a die-hard bollywood addict. But one of the things that still evades me (and reminds me how much the foreigner I am) is figuring out how to get a proper nights' sleep. My stints in India and Pakistan - and now living in Nepal- turn me into a wide-eyed insomniac, and when my local colleagues and friends appear for breakfast bright-eyed and full of energy, I am usually to be found hiding behind a copy of the Kathmandu Post and calling for cup of strong coffee.

As I can't blog on political matters these days today I'm going to share with you..... my top five strangest-things-that-have-woken-me -up in South Asia.

1) During consultancy days in Pakistan, being woken up repeatedly in my Islamabad hotel by young Gwadar-bound Chinese engineers banging on my door in their boxer shorts wanting to 'make friendship';

2) The nocturnal antics of my landlady's aging father in Tamil Nadu. The old gentleman spent his days listening to the radio on the veranda, barely uttering a word and occasionally communicating with a benign smile or nod. However, during his sleep a new side of his personality emerged. His limbs found a hidden strength after dark, and he would sleepwalk energetically around the house, muttering and sometimes shouting all the thoughts that he must have been keeping to himself during the day;

3) the clarion farting of my cook during the night in Tamil Nadu;

4) A herd of exceptionally vocal pigs outside the window of my guest house room in Phidim, Eastern Nepal, in the small hours of the morning;

5) My own delusional sleep-talking about Nepali politics earlier this week. Since my current job requires me to remain impartial on the subject of Nepali politics I am unable to disclose the subject of my rantings... :P

If anyone has any suggestions for how to get a good night's sleep, other than tamezepam, please do let me know. I just want to not hear the words 'Sophia-ji, are you ok?... you look, erm, terrible' from my colleagues in the mornings.